Diabetes by the Numbers

252 - Last blood sugar reading 684 - Highest blood sugar on record- although it may be a bit inaccurate since the new meters don't go higher than 599 28 - Lowest blood sugar on record- They say you're supposed to pass out at 30 102 - Favorite blood sugar- high enough not to worry about lows and not the "perfect 100" that everyone else strives for 15 - Pounds dropped at diagnosis 19 - pounds gained after starting insulin 8.3 - Last A1C blood test 5-6.9 - "good" A1C range 7.0 A1C I want 5.5- A1C that I would "shit bricks" over 9+ - A1C that makes me cry 36 - Number of A1C test results I have had to endure 8 - Mini boxes of candy I had last night on Halloween 10 - how much I hate Halloween on a scale of 1 to 10 because of the constant temptation of packages of candy just small enough not to register on the "to avoid" list

1,460 - Number of shots I took before giving up the shots and getting an insulin pump, never to look back 42,340 - Number of times I have sliced a tiny hole in my finger to extract enough blood to give to the machine who will grade my diabetic efforts for the last few hours and give me a result that will either make me smile or make me curse, but either way will better inform me of my enemies tactics and how I can outsmart him. 2,867 - Number of curse words spilled from my mouth in reaction to diabetes 1 - Number of entire boxes of Rice Krispies almost poured over my head in a state of low blood sugar 528 - Number of crying spells brought on by my enemy 2 - Number of E.R. visits due to freakishly high blood sugars 1 - Number of official D.K.A.'s because a box of recalled pump infusion sites got out to me and happened to get used at the same time I was battling the flu (and yes I am pulling out every reason in the world that this one was NOT MY FAULT) 2 - Number of crazy docs who thought they knew more about my body than I did and set me up to do or believe down right stupid things like I would never be able to walk barefoot or that to have 7 different basal rates on a pump is "not necessary" 3- Number of amazing docs who know I live with my body and my enemy daily and who work with me to sharpen my battle plan, who give advice on new research, new tests or new technologies to fight the bastard 14 - years I've had diabetes 12 - years I spent trying to battle diabetes on my own 1,000's friends I feel like I have through Insulindependence.org who help lend support and comfort as we fight together 20ish- the actual number of friends I have made through Insulindependence, though their support makes it feel like more 764 - the Number of times I've said to myself, "Now why didn't I join Insulindependence sooner?" and replied to myself, "Oh, Yes, That's right, they've only been around since 2005!" 864,357- people I wish I could tell to become a part of Insulindependence- It will change the way you attack the enemy 62 - boxes of pump supplies, glucose monitor supplies, sensors, tapes, I.V. Prep, glucose monitor strips and other assorted supplies in my closet/pharmacy 42,120- used blood glucose monitor strips I've sent to the landfill 24 strips currently in various crevices in my car 56 strips currently in my wallet/monitor case 138 strips in the trashcan in the bathroom 2 strips in my running bag 33,476 words written in my slightly humorous (but only to the warped minds of the world) memoir on life with diabetes and sailing solo through the keys 16,534 words to write by November 30 to be a winner in the NaNoWriMo or the National Novel Writing Month 551.13 words per day to write to meet that goal 665 words written so far today, oh wait make that 674. 16 Times I've said since I committed to NaNoWriMo last night, "Oh Crap! How am I ever going to be able to pul this off?" 14 sailing books I own and have read- most of which end in hideous disaster and ruin 3 boats I own, though the largest of the fleet is 15 inches long and attached to a stand so it doesn't tip over on my desk 12 - number of feet of the boat I will build this Spring Break 2- number of children who will help me build it 22- feet of the boat graciously donated for me to use for my trip this February by the Key Lime Sailing Club, my favorite sailing club in the world 4- days I will spend sailing alone int he Florida Keys 100- nautical miles I will cover from Key Largo to Key West 480- GPS waypoints beamed to the satellites and then back to mapmytracks.com where anyone can follow along as I sail 168- messages sent to the social networking sites to update everyone of everything I am doing, seeing, hearing, smelling and eating along the way 7500- dollars that I am trying to raise to benefit the oceanic recreation branch of Insulindependence.org 765- dollars I have already raised (thank you, by the way, to all those amazing people who have helped out in this) 105- days left to raise the additional $6735 64.14 -dollars to raise each and every day until I sail 872- times I have said "Oh Crap! How am I ever going to be able to pul this off?" 4696 miles to fly 63 miles to drive 5 sunsets to watch 3 manatees to talk with 82,354 skeeters to avoid 459 pictures to take 152 minutes of HD video to take so I can edit it down to the 3 minutes I am not looking like a total dork 6840 minutes I will be truly enjoying myself as I seek to take some time away from my everyday life to reflect on what diabetes has done to my life and what the fight against letting it take over has done for my character and my life 40,000 words I will have left to write to finish the memoir expressing those new revelations I am sure to have while spending 6840 minutes alone on a boat in the middle of the sea (well, ok, maybe not the middle of the sea, but far enough away from land that it will feel like the middle of the sea) 17 minutes I have just forced you to read far too many numbers 63 useless numbers that have now been stored somewhere in your brain taking up valuable space that could have been used to remember your telephone number when you move into the retirement home when you are 89 1 person you have now far too many unrelated details about that may come together to form a slightly clearer picture of (sorry Mrs. Fullenwider for ending that one with a preposition)

Future Plans

After hyping up the Velux 5 Ocean race to my class (I tie the solo, round-the-world sailing race into Earth Science somehow) and showing the documentary Deep Water about the first solo, round-the-world sailing race, my students asked me if I was ever going to do the race.

Although I won't rule it out, I don't think I could be away from my family for that long, well, maybe if I'm 90 and I outlive Tony and my kids are grandparents, I could bear ten months away to do it. But, just like in triathlon, when I get close to race day, I try, for the first time, to look beyond my next race to see what I will be training for when I achieve the goal directly in front of me. For the first time this week I have been trying to find the next logical step after a 4-day single-handed sail with stops near land each night.

I think I will have to wait another three years at least before I can steal away, I have to give some rest to my support team between trips. I don't want to ask too much to often of them. They could tire easily of my journeys, what, with my husband Tony having to listen to me talk his ear off with a long litany of, for him, meaningless details, and my kids having to miss me while I am gone, and my parents who lend child watch services while Tony works so I can concentrate on sailing and not worry about the safety and happiness of the children.

Maybe in three to five years I could do a Newport, R.I. to Bermuda passage; five to nine days alone with no stopping on land would be a good stepping stone. And then a TransPac, from Long Beach to Hawaii - two to three weeks alone- sounds interesting and enticing. Maybe in seven or eight years, when the kids are in high school and would be more than happy to get rid of me for a few weeks.

I am sure some Type 1 Diabetics have done it before, but it would be pretty great to be the first at something. I wonder how you go about finding out if any Type 1's have done a TransPac or a Newport-Bermuda before. Do you know of any?

A New Mode

Now that I am back at work, and, really, back among the living, I get asked a lot how I am doing. I think I have fielded that question at least twenty times in the last few weeks since school started.

I usually answer that I am feeling ok. Not really normal, but, maybe, a new normal? That's the thing I am most recently learning;. I thought this new disease was an easy fix, just take some meds and I am back to normal, problem solved and, really, over with. But we are so bad at mimicking with meds what the body does so naturally.

Stress goes up and your body matches it with increased thyroid levels. So I am always having to change my dose to match my activity level and stress level so that I don't get too far behind on the fatigue. And it sneaks up on me sometimes. I am learning to recognize my stress levels and trying to be proactive with dose changes. The diabetes has taught me a lot when it comes to that, but, of course, when I change my thyroid levels, it changes all of the protocols I have developed to manage the diabetes so it's like I am no longer solving equations in one or two variables, but now have four- or five-dimensional problems.

With all that, if I can manage a "just ok" I think I am doing pretty damn well. It has, overall, dulled my personality, though. I have become the things I hate far too much: jittery and on edge. I lost the part that I loved so much about myself, that zip and spunk, willing to take on any challenge and always looking for an adventure.

And when it gets all out of whack, it inhibits my sense of clarity and judgment and I sometimes do things I normally would not because it has temporarily warped my sense of reality. I am trying not to act on those whims but sometimes I let it slip.

I am, also, working against a whole new set of fears that my body will fail again. I had to learn, in the worst of it, not to push my body because it would mean a week or two of recovery, a really bad, tortuous recovery, so I am trying to unlearn that self-preservation mode and re-enter into the push-myself-as hard-as-I-can mode. Tough switch, since I don't know where those new boundaries lie. I dont want to overshoot them, but I do want to get very close to the edge asap. I think I might have to fall over the edge a few times to really find it.